My wife and I have been married for one year as of today, and while I’ve bought her a gift that I’ll give her later this evening, I felt like starting a tradition on my blog might be a more interesting way to celebrate than a simple exchange of goods. Trading whiskey for gold makes me feel like an old prospector.
So, here’s my pledge. Every year on July 20, she’ll get a list of 10 things I love about her. Yes, I could list off the obvious things. Her ambition, her compassion, her absolutely mind-boggling power to calm me down, her ability to have fun no matter what she’s doing (see below).
And maybe in later years, I’ll list some of those bigger things. But right now, I’m feeling like a list of 10 odd, subtle, small things might be more appropriate. The little things are often overlooked, which in my mind makes them even more important to write down. When you put them all together, it paints a better picture. My hope is that in 20 years we’ll have a gigantic list of little things that we can look back on and laugh about.
So, here we go. Year one is in the books. Here are 10 small things I’ve noticed this year that I love about my wife.
1. The way she talks to herself while she cooks.
“Okay and then you want me to whisk in some flour – are you sure?”
Note: I wrote this one down while sitting in the bedroom and she was absolutely not talking to me.
Who is she talking to? The ghost of paella’s past? She literally refers to recipes like they’re people. “Okay so what do YOU want ME to do next?”
She is adorable. Also, it must be nice to never cook alone.
2. Her in-home clothing.
I don’t even think she likes Bernie Sanders but she wears a BERNIE 2016 t-shirt pretty much every night to bed and there’s something about that I respect. She may disagree with some of his policies but my wife is a total Bernie Bro at bedtime for some reason.
3. The way she swirls her cappuccinos.
She drinks them out of these huge mugs and when they get near the bottom, she does this gigantic swirling motion that’s almost a full-body jerk. It’s about the most ungraceful thing you could imagine, almost like an Elaine’s “little kicks” type of movement. And she has no clue. And I am here for it.
4. Her absolute disdain for the sound of finger nails.
You can’t even touch your fingernails together without her losing her mind. Don’t bite them, don’t pull a hangnail, don’t even think about it. Nothing could be more offensive. I think I love this one so much because after knowing her for half of my life I still don’t understand it. She’s a mystery.
5. The way she informs me that I’m being a hypocrite.
I have a lot of opinions, and I’ll admit it – sometimes they contradict the way I act. When this happens, she releases two words that always let me know I’m being hypocritical.
“But Justin -”
There’s a nice long pause after the “Justin -“, which honestly, she doesn’t even need to fill anymore at this point. I know where things are headed when I hear this phrase.
6. Her cooking measurements.
Nothing panics my wife more than when a recipe calls for a “pinch” or a “splash” of something. I can literally feel her anxiety when this happens.
If a recipe asks for a tablespoon of paprika, she’s whipping out a tablespoon, filling it, scraping off excess paprika, and carefully adding exactly one tablespoon. If the meal tastes like it needs more, none shall be added. We follow the recipes in her kitchen.
7. Her directions.
Could not be worse at giving directions. Literally gets her lefts and rights correct 30% of the time. She’d be much better to pull a George Costanza and just go with the opposite of her gut instinct.
“You were supposed to turn there” will be heard at a minimum of three times on any trip. Never knowing whether I’m making the right turn or not keeps life exciting.
8. She makes up songs for pretty much everything.
Her latest single is called, “I Love Lunch” and it’s sung every day at lunchtime. Lyrics below:
I love lunch,
I love lunch,
The good news is
It’s time for lunch
x2
9. Her complete inability to talk to a smart speaker.
Two words: Okay Google. Then, you ask your question.
This is how most people interact with a smart speaker.
Not her. I start Googling things on my phone the minute I hear her start to ask any sort of question. It’s much faster.
10. Her passwords.
I’m not here to give you our banking login, but just trust me, they’re all absolutely ridiculous. Ask yourself, “What would an optimistic 5-year-old make for her Facebook password,” and you’ll be on the right track.
In closing.
I hit the absolute jackpot when I met my wife. She’s my favorite person in the world, and thinking that I get to spend the rest of my life with her is as good as it gets. I’d follow her anywhere.
Happy 1st anniversary love, on to year two!
