A Valentine’s Day Algorithm

Happy Valentine’s Day!

If you’re in a relationship, it’s time to give yourself a pat on the back like everyone else on my Instagram feed. Or, better yet, you could not.

If you’re single, good news: tomorrow is Single’s Appreciation Day (SAD, for short). For those looking for a partner, there’s a really cool algorithm I wanted to share that you can apply to your dating life. I first read about this in the book Algorithms to Live By by Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths, a fun read for anyone looking to use math to improve their life.

Here’s what the 37% rule is, and how it can be applied to dating.

The rule can be applied to any situation where you have to screen options in a limited amount of time, and want to make the best (or most optimal) decision. It can be used when you’re looking for a house, when you’re trying to hire a job candidate for your business, or yes, to find love.

Here’s what you do.

#1. Pick a start date and an end date.

When are you going to start looking for a life partner? For the sake of this example, let’s say you’re staring your search at age 30. Let’s also assume that you want to find a partner before you turn 40. That gives you 10 years to search.

#2. Count your options.

How many first dates can you go on in that time period? If you went on 6 a year, that would be 60 first dates within the 10 year time period.

#3. Search until you go on 37% of your potential first dates.

For this example, you’d go on 22 first dates. Don’t pick a partner yet, just keep going on dates. This is crucial to the rule: don’t fall in love!

#4. After your 22 dates, start looking for someone better than all the rest.

At this point, it’s time to get serious. From your 23rd date onward, you have one simple task: Find someone better than all of the 22 dates you went on. As soon as you find someone you like more than all the dates prior, lock him/her up.

Obviously, this is a touch impractical for dating. If you fall in love, tell the algorithm to go to hell. But this algorithm is proven to be the best way to optimize your outcome. I found it super helpful when searching for a home. I gave myself a window of time in which I wanted to purchase a home, figured out the amount of open houses I could go to within that time period, and then applied the 37% rule.

And it worked out pretty good!

Keep in mind, I married the first girl I ever went on a date with – so I’m a total hypocrite for suggesting this strategy. Nevertheless, I found the algorithm pretty cool for analyzing other time-bound situations.