It turns out, I actually don’t love coffee. Truth be told, I don’t even really like it.
It feels kind of weird to write that. After all, I’m pretty sure in 2014 my Twitter bio said “full-blown coffee addict”.
What the hell happened?
Well, I’ll tell you what happened – this post would be pretty shitty if I didn’t. I gave up dairy, sugar and artificial sweeteners for a month in January. This meant it was black coffee or bust for the entire month.
I tried to like it. I figured if I just kept pouring it into my Steelers’ mug every morning, one day it would taste just as good as the sweet java I was drinking in December. That day never came. Coffee, when stripped down, is like Britney Spears without auto-tune. It still looks good, but is really quite unnecessary.
Maybe you’re asking yourself, ‘Hey Justin, why give up sweeteners anyways?’ Simple answer: they spike your insulin, making it easier for you to gain weight. There’s much more science to it than that, but I’m not your doctor and I’m not going to get into the details. Short answer is, it’s bad for you. Read more about sweeteners and insulin resistance here if you’re interested.
So here we are, in this uncomfortable position. The thing I’ve told the world that I love the most, coffee, is only a little bit better tasting than dirt water. It makes me wonder what else I’m glorifying, that at its core is pretty bland. Excuse me as I go dissect a list of my favorite things.